Looking for Input on Script

Hey folks, I have the opportunity to market to the client base of a P&C agent I've become friends with. He has over 800 clients, and he hates selling Life and DI due to the underwriting hassle. He and I will split any Life, DI or Fixed Annuity business, and any investment business is 100% mine. He has sent out an email blast to his clients explaining that I'll be calling them. Below is the script I've put together that I'd like some feedback on. I just use bullet points vs full script.
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• The reason for the call, while Joe'

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