Qualifying Event Question

My wife and I are in the process of Adopting. We have legal custody currently. In 6 weeks there will be a court hearing to place our son. I would like to use this qualifying event to remove my other son from my insurance and switch to the cheaper plan and place my son on my Wife's insurance, which is better. My understanding is that a qualifying event allows you to make any pretax change you want, however the Insurance company is saying that this is not the case, and all I am allowed to do is add the new son to the plan. Does anyone know if the insurance company is correct?
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